Your damage is not my damage, but your damage is OK

"Because... reasons."

Over the course of your life,
have you met at least one true asshole?

No, not somebody with a different opinion, who is otherwise acceptable.  I'm talking about full, Category-5 douchebaggery.

My dad would call these jokers, "clinical assholes."

Dad worked as a psychologist since before I was born, retiring from a job with the State of New York's Department of  Mental Health.   He specialized in the dual-diagnoses of mental illness with retardation.  As a state employee, it wasn't surprising that New York's "worst of the worst" were also his clients: the criminals, the violent cases.

One beautiful and uniqe snowflake went so above and beyond that Dad felt the usual diagnoses just didn't explain it well enough.  He wrote the diagnosis as: "Asshole." 

The higher-ups took issue with that."Asshole" was not a diagnosis anywhere in the DSM-III (the manual that mental health, in the 1980's, used to diagnose people.)  It was not included in the revisions, either. (...although I think it should have been.)
Dad was told it was not appropriate to diagnose a patient as a "Clinical Asshole."
"Spend 15 minutes in a room with the guy," Dad offered. "You'll see exactly what I mean."
The lead psychiatrist took his challenge, and, after 15 minutes, walked out of the room.  Dad's diagnosis stood.
Yes, friends, this means that, somewhere, in the dark, dusty record-keeping of NYS, there is one recorded case of a patient with the disorder: Asshole.

If you're laughing at this story, it's probably because you've met your share of  Clinical Assholes.*
I know I have.
There's a deeper truth to bring away from this:  Clinical Assholes happen, but they're also rare.
Yet, I am probably not alone in feeling terrified of sounding like that asshole, of being that asshole.
I over-analyze the hell out of everything I do.
Re-read, edit, revise, "sleep on it," re-visit it to make sure it still sonds good the next morning...
I claw myself up with self-criticism.

Your inner critic works overtime to make sure your conscious mind is hyper-aware of everything that could go wrong.  Please remember this.  This is my gift to you: the chances are better than good that you're not a Clinical Asshole.

Usually, when I have been criticized, the real meat of the criticism comes down to, "I have is a different viewpoint than you do."   The most often, what I see is, "Your opinion differs from mine." but, sometimes, it's closer to "You have your own damage, and your damage is not my damage."
If there's one gift the writers of the internet have given us, it's the chance at a much wider perspective. There are so many voices, all coing from different backgrounds, each with very different point of view. Often, their point of view feels like the Grand Canyon. meaning I can see the other side but I just can't get there from here.  Even at that, we're still not into Clinical Asshole territory.

A quick test:  If  you're worried about being the asshole in the room, it's a good sign that you're not being the asshole in the room.  In my experience, the people who are the most concerned with being percieved as assholes are the least likely to be the assholes. (Clinical assholes, by definition, do not care about this... it's one of their defning features.) Concen over how others react to us and our actions is the guard-rail that keeps us from falling into that canyon and being killed during the fall.

Trust yourself, come closer and share the view.
You're doing fine.

*If you've been deeply offended by this story, it's probably time to step away from the internet for today.

A Kite is a Victim

A kite is a victim you are sure of.
You love it because it pulls
gentle enough to call you master,
strong enough to call you fool;
because it lives
like a desperate trained falcon
in the high sweet air,
and you can always haul it down
to tame it in your drawer.

A kite is a fish you have already caught
in a pool where no fish come,
so you play him carefully and long,
and hope he won't give up,
or the wind die down.

A kite is the last poem you've written
so you give it to the wind,
but you don't let it go
until someone finds you
something else to do.

A kite is a contract of glory
that must be made with the sun,
so you make friends with the field
the river and the wind,
then you pray the whole cold night before,
under the travelling cordless moon,
to make you worthy and lyric and pure.


― Leonard Cohen, The Spice Box of Earth

They can keep their cliché and coincidence...

“Those around you can have their novellas, sweet, their short stories of cliché and coincidence, occasionally spiced up with tricks of the quirky, the achingly mundane, the grotesque. A few will even cook up Greek tragedy, those born into misery, destined to die in misery. But you, my bride of quietness, you will craft nothing less than epic with your life. Out of all of them, your story will be the one to last.” 
― Marisha Pessl, Special Topics in Calamity Physics

In the language of dreams...

“The best fantasy is written in the language of dreams. It is alive as dreams are alive, more real than real ... for a moment at least ... that long magic moment before we wake.

Fantasy is silver and scarlet, indigo and azure, obsidian veined with gold and lapis lazuli. Reality is plywood and plastic, done up in mud brown and olive drab. Fantasy tastes of habaneros and honey, cinnamon and cloves, rare red meat and wines as sweet as summer. Reality is beans and tofu, and ashes at the end. Reality is the strip malls of Burbank, the smokestacks of Cleveland, a parking garage in Newark. Fantasy is the towers of Minas Tirith, the ancient stones of Gormenghast, the halls of Camelot. Fantasy flies on the wings of Icarus, reality on Southwest Airlines. Why do our dreams become so much smaller when they finally come true?

We read fantasy to find the colors again, I think. To taste strong spices and hear the songs the sirens sang. There is something old and true in fantasy that speaks to something deep within us, to the child who dreamt that one day he would hunt the forests of the night, and feast beneath the hollow hills, and find a love to last forever somewhere south of Oz and north of Shangri-La.

They can keep their heaven. When I die, I'd sooner go to middle Earth.” 
― George R.R. Martin

"If you're afraid to fall, you'll fall because you're afraid." -Daniel Ilabaca

What Fauna has in common with Leonard Nemoy

Above: from "the Full Body Project."
Photographer: Leonard Nemoy

Art-modeling is one of the greatest, and least-expected, ego-boosts I could imagine.  I say this as a woman who had not been in front of a lens before the age of 35, for any reason other than the usual snapshots at family gatherings, and had no experience in glamour or fashion modeling at all. I look nothing like a fashion model, and never have.  However, I understand that this is one of the reasons why +Fauna Reeves of Lady Fauna Photography asks me to get in front of her lens.  I've played several different "roles" in the collaborative "theater-of-the-mind" that becomes Fox and Jackal.

I love the fresh... no, pure. Untarnished. ...perspective young photographers bring to the table, so waited until after the shoot to send a message and ask if she had seen the hardcover book "The Full Body Project: Photographs by Leonard Nimoy"

Yes, it's *that* Leonard Nemoy, of "Spock" fame. He went on to have an amazing career as a talented photographer, with two different photo-books (that I know of) so far.  (The other one is "Shekinah," and it's just as powerful.)

Both collections are on display in the Michelson Gallery, Northampton, Massachusetts, just outside of the city where he "first experienced the magic of making photographic images as a teen-ager in the early 1940s. His darkroom was the family bathroom in their small Boston apartment. His subjects were family and friends." ~biography

The Michelson courteously offers a view a lot of the images themselves, plus many of the photographer's insights, from both collections.

I share them here for those of you who, like Lady Fauna and Mr. Nemoy, do not believe beauty is confined to a size range that falls between a size 0-6, or an age between 15 and 25.

Shekhina

The Full Body Project

Personally, I came to today's shoot as a model, so my job is taking direction from the photographer while the camera is clicking.   Outside of a shoot, I'm still my own artist. Many different body-types have appeared in my drawings and paintings.

I find runway models beautiful like gazelles or greyhounds or sculptures of cats made of spun class. but that doesn't infringe in any way on the beauty of the women who radiate power like wind and Holy Fire.  Neither of these change my love for those who have abundant bodies like landscapes and Earth Goddesses.  All, to me, can hold beauty, so long as a good photographer is willing to show it to me.

My attitude about women and men, as well as my taste in them, is very similar to Robert Heinlein's.  It's fortunate that my husband agrees with me.

I'm enjoying Fauna's bravery in tackling the unconventional, uncomfortable aspects of human sexuality that lie somewhere along the fringe of  "acceptable," and I'm proud of her for her courage.  Today was one piece of a much longer series, but playing a part in today's shenanigans resulted in hilarity on a level that is clearly, clearly! unacceptable (!) for respectable and civilized people.  Raise your glass, dear, and let's have a toast!  "God Bless and Keep the virtuous far away from me!"

Four Ways in Which Showing Up Is More Important Than Having Talent

This is sheer, insightful brilliance.  Counter-intuitive, maybe, and unromantic, certainly, but true and real as sunshine or cold water.  I wish that I could tell you differently, and pass along the magic spell for overnight success or or glowing, white-hot  inspiration.  Even inspiration requires work or it won't ever become anything more than a doodle or a pile of notes.  You've got to take it to the wall yourself.

Four Ways in Which Showing Up Is More Important Than Having Talent

Snow Angel

New Piece: "Snow Angel"
Portia St. Luke,
Mixed Media on Paper
January, 2014

Stop, Drop, and Roll

Getting stuck in a negative thought spiral feels like the worst thing on earth.
The day that I figured it was possible to break one of these spirals (if I could see it happening) I knew I'd gained a new and powerful tool. This is not a lofty claim that I'm a perfect, enlightened being, capable of mindfulness at all times. Some days, the demons win. Other days, I'd swear to you that they win far more often than I do, and I really suck at this... but, hopefully, I would stop myself and find a way to interrupt that thought pattern, right there.  Full stop.

Writing for the Elephant Journal, Michelle Margaret shares this piece of wisdom:
When I was in elementary school and they taught us about fire safety, the rule if your clothes caught on fire was to “stop, drop and roll.” For some reason, that slogan came into my mind recently, and I realized that it’s applicable to daily life practice, too.

When you get caught in a pattern of negativity—ill will, jealousy, anger, fear, self-hate or whatever it may be—stop.

Stop. Notice that you’ve been swept away from the present moment.

Drop. Let it go. Just as simple as that. Surrender. You don’t need to hold onto it anymore.

Roll. Life goes on. Continue on your way until you need to stop, drop and roll again.


Michelle offers us nine more great suggestions for re-aligning your spirit in her article, "How to be Free: 10 Simple, Transformative, Daily Life Practices." None of them require a lifetime of study or an advanced knowledge of Eastern Mysticism.  They're suggestions and ideas, each with the potential to become daily practice, should you find they help you.  

Imagine Finding Me

Above: Otsuka, Chino "1982 and 2005, Paris, France," photo manipulation from her series titled Imagine Finding Me.

This photo collection is such an interesting take on time, perspective, even age... or maybe it's really just about how much fun one photographer can have with Photoshop and I'm over-analyzing things.

Tokyo-born, London-based photographer Chino Otsuka takes the past and present photo project to a new level of expert photo manipulation with her series titled Imagine Finding Me. Rather than simply recreating old photographs as an adult, she inserts her present-day self into photos from her childhood. The result is an incredibly believable image that features photos of Otsuka as a little girl in the 70s and 80s standing side by side with herself as a modern-day woman.

Essentially, the series presents a double portrait of Otsuka and the many places she's visited as a kid. With the advantages of using digital software and technology to merge her past and present self, the photographer is able to create these unique self-portraits. She says, "The digital process becomes a tool, almost like a time machine as I'm embarking on the journey to where I once belonged and at the same time becoming a tourist in my own history." -From mymodernmet.com


Photography is not the same as illustration.  A world is not created: it's already there. the lens captures light and shadow in a very scientific way, and this requires all photographers to be realists, on some level. Photographers are not afforded the luxury of pure fantasy or pure abstract the way that painters are, so to make us think, they have to bend things, but just a little.  How is that best accomplished through a lens? Great photographers ask this all the time, and the ones that achieve it make us ask questions of ourselves and the world around us that we might otherwise have never asked.  This is the power of that little box when held in the hands of such a magician.

I love presenting "artists to watch out for," but see no reason why photographers shouldn't be counted as artists, especially when they make us think, feel, or remember we're alive and essentially human in some way. Whether it's digital photo-manipulation, oil on panel, or a really good blues solo, isn't that the entire point of art?

Firearms: Yes, it's a women's issue (I have opinions.)

Above: Lyudmila Mykhailivna Pavlichenko (July 12, 1916 – October 10, 1974), 

a Soviet sniper during WWII. She is credited with 309 kills, 

and regarded as the most successful female sniper in history. 

(Photo courtesy of wikimedia commons.)

Russian Female Snipers in WWII
were feared by 

combat trained German troops. 

(So much for guns being a macho-man only sport!) 

In fact, there were approximately 2,000 female snipers in the Red Army, of whom about 500 survived the war. Lyudmila Pavlichenko (pictured above), Nina Lobkovskaya, and Klavdiya Kalugina (who was only 17 at the start of her military service in 1943) were among the thousands of women who put themselves in the line of fire for Mother Russia.  They were armed with slightly more accurate but less-rugged sniper rifles (German: Scharfschützengewehr or SSG), than their conscripted brothers: an upgrade from the cheaper assault rifle.

While I have openly said that we, as a culture, really ought to consider just how "universal" that "right" to own a firearm really is (Hey, we do have a licencing process to drive cars, showing that we're not going to act like a damned fool when behind the wheel, correct? Most NRA members that I've talked to understand gun safety and the rules of firearms so well that they could teach a gun safety course themselves, and agree this is reasonable.) ...guns are also a women's right's issue, in that they truly become the great equalizer.  I am not a small woman (or a woman who should ever own a firearm) but I understand the fear that my petite friends feel when at risk of being beaten, abused, or raped.  Cornered and out-massed by 200 lbs. of angry pot-roast is no place to be.

...but one bullet is one bullet.  Nothing says "I'm not getting raped (mugged/ beaten) today!" like a large-caliber round to the center chest.  Simple, eloquent, and to-the-point.  The vast majority of rape cases will never go to trial, the majority of those that do will never be convicted, and, if you grew up in the United States, you probably know the rest. Dead men can't become repeat offenders.  If she is fighting for her life, no further argument is necessary.

Have Yourself a Leyendecker Christmas

"Artists to Watch Out For" is one of the favorite things that I do for the Blogosphere.  It's my gift to the world, and my way of sharing historic and contemporary art and artists that I love but that you may not have seen in a standard college art class... and if there's one that says "20th Century Christmas," it's J.C. Leyendecker.

I'm not alone.  When fellow painter and blogger Clinton T. Hobart listed his favorite Christmas illustrations, I saw three different Leyendeckers made the list, with one earning the added distinction: "one of my favorite illustrations ever." A realistic painter himself, Hobart writes, "J.C Leyendecker has always been my favorite for Holiday Illustration."

Leyendecker's impact on the Golden Age of Illustration is immeasurable.  His influence on the later Norman Rockwell is something often forgotten by history. Saturday Evening Post cover illustration was almost synonymous with this man until Rockwell followed in his footsteps.  The entire opus of his life's work includes over 300 covers for the Post alone...  Obviously, the holiday covers are a very small tip of a giant iceberg.

 This Flickr Collection is copyrighted, but enjoyable.

Sisters

St Luke, Portia. "Clever Fox." 2008. Mixed media on paper. Original available.

"Has anybody here seen Kelly?" 
~ C.W. Murphy, (Music and Lyrics) 1908.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The husband opens the Yuletide cards from that day's mail.  The envelope is the nondescript "holiday red" of every card this season... but my eyes light up and I start giggling like an 8 year old chasing a Siberian Husky in a blizzard.  Husbeast looks at me.  The eyebrow ...happens.

"It's from Cookie!" I shriek.  Yes, I'm 8 all over again.

"How do you know.?"

"I'm psychic!  I always know!"

Eyebrow grows steely.

"IT'S A FOX!!!"

19 Acts of Kindness, plus one.

Image by Google Images

Yesterday, I had the joy of sharing a great find called "the Best Drug of All," by Craig Arthur James.  This gem is a beautiful reminder of the subtle power to be found within arms reach, every day, through the simplest acts of kindness.  I love this stuff.

Let me put it in perspective:  it's so cold outside that the air feels like a thousand tiny knives stabbing into your flesh, and you know the only way to make them stop is to get someplace warm.  The commute to work can be deadly if you haven't practiced the skill of driving on slick roads.  The dark feels endless, and spring is only a promise held in the heart.  Depression kills. So, yes, I love this stuff, not only because I'm a sap and a romantic, but also because it gives me hope and a little extra faith in humanity.  "It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt (att.)  

Maybe an angel knew that I needed just a little extra encouragement today, and so these 19 more ways to light that candle found their way to me.  So much joy and love!  Does the cold and dark of mid-winter bring you down, too?  Maybe you'll find a way to smile (and send ripples of happiness out to others around you!) with these 19 Peculiar Acts of Kindness by Tanya Lee Markul.  For a nice, even 20, please, for me, encourage others to do the same, and keep it going.

Remember the umbrella story from the Best Drug of All, and understand that compersion (ie: joy because of another person's joy, or sorrow over another's sorrow) is part of what ties us together as a human tribe. Why keep this precious gift to yourself?  It's not limited, it will neither wear out nor deplete with repeated use. In order to light a candle for another, one was lit for us first. Each lights the next. When enough glow together, the collective power can light and warm an entire church. I've seen it, felt it, and it's still magical to me.

It's as magical as human compassion... or two umbrellas, in the right hands, on a rainy day.  Now it's your turn. Keep it going!  

The Best Drug of All

Artwork by Ralph Solonitz

Give a man with a warm soul, like Craig Arthur James, two umbrellas, and the miraculous will happen. His short story, "The Best Drug of All," published at Screwball Universe City, reminds me of the goodness to be found in the simplest deeds, often within arms reach. Being a superhero or a miracle worker so rarely requires powers beyond those of mortal men. Sometimes, it's something as simple as an umbrella on a rainy day.

To love is to be vulnerable

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

~ C.S. Lewis

For more love, and 21 Lessons They Didn't Teach You in School, check one hell of an entertaining online creative hub, "celebrating the Art of Being Alive," Rebelle Society.

A Well-earned Salute to Pin-Up Art

Above: Illustration by WWII-era French pin-up artist Romain Hugault,
for Michael Malak's forthcoming collection of pin-up art, "Wings of Angels". 

The is Model Caitling Litzinger.

My thanks to Dennis Coppinger for sending this one my way.  Facebook's "the Pinup Files" is a real treat for fans and collectors of pin-up art. I love the vintage, but was so thrilled to see the top-notch work from contemporary artists  Authentic, well-done... With an aesthetic that grew out of the era before silicon and special effects. This is how I imagine the ideal "Venus..." What a great collection! 

The Wisdom of St. Therese

My kind-hearted neighbor, bottle-feeding rescued kittens in the Spring of 2013.

"There is no artist who does not like his work praised, and the Divine Artist of souls is pleased when we do not stop at the exterior, but penetrating even to the inmost sanctuary which He has chosen for His dwelling, we admire its beauty."~St. Therese de Liseux, ie: Theresa, "of the Little Way," Story of A Soul, Chapter I

Great video: God's Gonna Cut You Down (The Boondock Saints)

"What's done in the dark will be brought to the light..." ~Johnny Cash

"And Shepherds we shall be, for Thee, my Lord, for Thee."

"Do not kill, do not rape, do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace." ~Boondock Saints